[ She's quiet for so long that he begins to panic, the lines of his expression growing harder and harder, until he is sure his worst fears have come true. She's disgusted to learn this about him, that he could presume to be friends with the very people that he was made to hurt, and that he has such trouble accepting such a fact about himself. Alisaie is strong and brave. How pathetic he must seem, whimpering with his tail between his legs, like he has any room to feel sorry for himself when he should have just moved on by now.
But then something happens that he does not anticipate. Alisaie...takes a hold of his hand, draws her fingers over his skin, and his breath catches in his throat as the soft pad of her finger slips over the codeprint. It's enough to make him dizzy.
It takes him some time to answer back, though he turns, ever so slightly towards her, his still trembling hand in hers. He his to unpack that question, uncoil it from the brambles around his heart, and distantly, he knows what she's doing. She's trying to give him some perspective on this. But it isn't...it isn't that simple. If it were, maybe he would have gotten over this fear of his long, long ago. ]
I-I wouldn't think of you any different. You're still you. B-but...it's not the same with me, Ali. You're so strong a-and kind and smart and wonderful. You...make yourself worth knowing, no matter where you came from. But I...
[ He shakes his head sharply, a sob tumbling loose from his throat. ]
I-I'm...nothing. Everything that I am, everything I do, I do because I'm desperate to be wanted. Hah...h-how selfish is that? I thought I could change, I-I thought I figured out how to be my own person, Noct and the others...the even accepted me when I told them. But they don't remember any of that, and now I — I'm just too much of a coward to tell them again. I-I don't even trust my own friends, because I'm that selfish...
[ And this is what he wanted. To tell her this, to show her this, his bleeding heart, the cracks at his core. ]
...Is that the kind of person you want to be friends with?
no subject
But then something happens that he does not anticipate. Alisaie...takes a hold of his hand, draws her fingers over his skin, and his breath catches in his throat as the soft pad of her finger slips over the codeprint. It's enough to make him dizzy.
It takes him some time to answer back, though he turns, ever so slightly towards her, his still trembling hand in hers. He his to unpack that question, uncoil it from the brambles around his heart, and distantly, he knows what she's doing. She's trying to give him some perspective on this. But it isn't...it isn't that simple. If it were, maybe he would have gotten over this fear of his long, long ago. ]
I-I wouldn't think of you any different. You're still you. B-but...it's not the same with me, Ali. You're so strong a-and kind and smart and wonderful. You...make yourself worth knowing, no matter where you came from. But I...
[ He shakes his head sharply, a sob tumbling loose from his throat. ]
I-I'm...nothing. Everything that I am, everything I do, I do because I'm desperate to be wanted. Hah...h-how selfish is that? I thought I could change, I-I thought I figured out how to be my own person, Noct and the others...the even accepted me when I told them. But they don't remember any of that, and now I — I'm just too much of a coward to tell them again. I-I don't even trust my own friends, because I'm that selfish...
[ And this is what he wanted. To tell her this, to show her this, his bleeding heart, the cracks at his core. ]
...Is that the kind of person you want to be friends with?