[ it's a natural question to ask, so she knows it is coming before he even voices it, but still.. one might think that so much time later, she might have gotten over it a bit better, that it would be easier to think about, to talk about. and.. it is, in a sense. she does not break down in sobs just speaking his name as she might have years ago.

but gods, it still hurts. it always will, she suspects. ]

Answers for his death. I had to know why. I had to be sure that he was gone. I had to see the world he had left me for, and learn whether or not it had been worth it.