deadandred: (winter: intent)
James 'Bucky' Barnes, Human Disaster ([personal profile] deadandred) wrote in [community profile] acatalepsy_logs2018-09-09 04:37 pm

(no subject)

Who: Bucky Barnes and you, probably.
Where: Around the temple
When: A few days after his arrival.
Rating G, probably
What: Exploring and getting used to people?



This place is new. That in itself is not surprising, most places he's seen these days are new, at least to him -- save for perhaps certain eastern European or Asian nations. It doesn't look new, but that doesn't bother Bucky any. He's laid low since arriving a few days ago, on the lookout for anyone he might know, or that might know him. He is less of a target, here, his magic serving to helpfully cover up that silver left arm of his, but he is still clearly recognizable as a soldier. Or ex-military, depending on the clothes he's wearing that day.

Thankfully, this new place doesn't seem to have any HYDRA operatives or other enemies that he's been able to see, so he has ventured out to look around the temple. He can be found wandering throughout the day, either poking around the temple or kitchens -- but generally he's somewhere around the fighting ring. It's familiar, even if it's not entirely necessary at the moment. (He has come to appreciate lying low, the past few months. It's a luxury rarely afforded to him.) After watching some people spar, he steps up to the ring himself, setting in to fight one or more of the dummies.
valuedstrength: (Oh Lord please)

[personal profile] valuedstrength 2018-09-13 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
"You were running from HYDRA?" Steve asks. It's hard to concentrate when he feels so cruddy. He's definitely out of practice in living with illness. He follows up, "Did you know I was trying to find you?" Steve makes it sound like an accusation too because well it is. Why not let him catch up? Why the games?

Steve knows he owes him an answer if only because Bucky won't let it go if he really is himself. "She messed with the serum. I can get sick again."
valuedstrength: (but don't be naïve)

[personal profile] valuedstrength 2018-09-13 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
It's impossible not to be hurt by that. Steve knows on some level he was always a bad choice to be chasing after Bucky. He liked to think he wasn't actively avoiding him. The explanation that follows does a lot to soften the blow. Steve finds himself nodding in response to that. He can understand being left behind considering Bucky needed time to put himself together by his own admission. Just like that their conflict is over. The one between him and Astoria? Not so much.

He doesn't even hide his anger. "Nothing gives her the right, Buck. She's a kidnapper who dumps us places and then gets surprised when we bring something back with us. If she left the serum alone or made any effort to protect us from what as on that planet, we wouldn't have this problem."
valuedstrength: (Don't you know that no-one alive)

[personal profile] valuedstrength 2018-09-14 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
He can infer alright. Steve can't even pretend to be surprised. They sent him to murder his best friend. If Bucky remembered even a shred of their lives together, he'd react poorly to the news. From the sounds of it, he's got a baseline if nothing else. Steve looks concerned, but doesn't press the issue.

He shakes his head at the rest. "No, they actually like her. I think it's a cult thing." The bitterness is impossible to miss. He hates her; thinks she irresponsible and careless with the people she kidnaps to serve her cause. He'd be happy to tell her in person if he ever did see her.
valuedstrength: (Am I gonna be an optimist about this?)

[personal profile] valuedstrength 2018-09-15 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
"Help people from what I can tell. It's not that different from what I do back home or what we did back in the day. The problem is I don't remember signing up. Do you?" That was the rub. The issues keep piling up for Steve, of course. It's not enough she messed with their bodies or won't allow them to leave at will. She doesn't even respect them enough to give them the choice to go to the places that need their help. She just dumps them there. It's an awful thing to do in his opinion.
valuedstrength: (I seem to be bad)

[personal profile] valuedstrength 2018-09-16 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
He shakes his head. "I wish I knew they didn't. This place makes me feel crazy for being angry at her." Steve honestly doesn't know if anyone shares these feelings. Maybe he should be polling people to see what the public actually thinks about what is going on here. That's a crazy thought for another time. Bucky is getting closer and while his guard is raised so are his hopes. Steve misses his best friend.

"A couple days. It's not so bad compared to how sick I used to get. I guess I'm just out of practice." He can really feel it rather than power his way through.
valuedstrength: *avengers (moving up to higher ground)

[personal profile] valuedstrength 2018-09-21 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
Steve frowns deeply. He never could get anything past Buck. He starts elaborating. "Akira mentioned something about darkness on us. We came in with something from that world. That might be what's messing with me." The kind of thing no one can protect him from. If this is the man he loved and called brother that is not going to go over well.
valuedstrength: (I'm gonna be released)

[personal profile] valuedstrength 2018-09-26 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
"I don't know, Buck. I'm in over my head." Steve confesses frankly. He might have left it there if not for Bucky laying a hand on his shoulder. That breaks something in him along with that line. Nothing is supposed to happen to him, huh? God he wishes that were true.

His eyes well up with tears. He doesn't cry as always. It still hurts. "Things have already happened. I can't... I can't change them. I can't change what they made you do." He wants to apologize for it, but that seems hollow. It won't undo anyone's pain.
valuedstrength: (You're burning up; I'm cooling down)

[personal profile] valuedstrength 2018-10-11 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
"I don't see how." Steve confesses frankly. It's time to finally say out loud to his best friend what he's been hurting about since the day he fell. "I didn't kill my guy. If I had done my job, we wouldn't be in this mess." Because he's the bad guy for not wanting to murder every man working for Schmidt obviously.
valuedstrength: (someone to hear your prayers)

[personal profile] valuedstrength 2018-11-04 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
"I know that." He does. Steve has spent every waking moment since the fall blaming himself. He doesn't know how to let go of the guilt. He definitely is struggling with the fact Bucky doesn't blame him. He swallows thickly as he explains, "I want it to be different. I want to take it back."