[ no, she says bitterly inside her head, as she hesitates the barest moment, her eyes flickering around the room. it suddenly hits her that she's leaving something that was supposed to be familiar and joyous -- and leaving without saying goodbye to her parents.
her parents who . . . are not real. they would know their daughter looked different, was older. had a scar along her side, right into her stomach, where pekka rollins' men attempted to gut her, peeking through the silks of her performance outfit. they would know her hair was longer, she was more muscular, and more . . . darkened, really. by ketterdam, by the menagerie. but no, they had greeted her as they always had. as they had in the memory, without noticing the differences.
it was then, really, that she knew this was not real.
she should have explored more, she should have tracked out their escape. she shouldn't have allowed herself to become paralyzed in this room and waste precious time. she should be able to answer kaz's questions, but she can't, and there is no changing that now. instead, she has to leave. again. there is a vicious prickling at the back of her eyes, but inej swallows it back, refusing to shed another tear over this mockery of comfort and home.
instead, she pulls up her hood, the shadows obscuring her face. ]
I always am.
[ it's said quietly. inej has never been a good liar, so she won't lie and say yes. but she makes her very best effort, now. ]
no subject
her parents who . . . are not real. they would know their daughter looked different, was older. had a scar along her side, right into her stomach, where pekka rollins' men attempted to gut her, peeking through the silks of her performance outfit. they would know her hair was longer, she was more muscular, and more . . . darkened, really. by ketterdam, by the menagerie. but no, they had greeted her as they always had. as they had in the memory, without noticing the differences.
it was then, really, that she knew this was not real.
she should have explored more, she should have tracked out their escape. she shouldn't have allowed herself to become paralyzed in this room and waste precious time. she should be able to answer kaz's questions, but she can't, and there is no changing that now. instead, she has to leave. again. there is a vicious prickling at the back of her eyes, but inej swallows it back, refusing to shed another tear over this mockery of comfort and home.
instead, she pulls up her hood, the shadows obscuring her face. ]
I always am.
[ it's said quietly. inej has never been a good liar, so she won't lie and say yes. but she makes her very best effort, now. ]
Let's go.