Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane (
spaceforged) wrote in
acatalepsy_logs2018-08-23 02:31 pm
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Entry tags:
And I just need a minute [Closed]
Who: Takashi Shirogane and Keith
Where: Their room in the temple
When: the 23rd, morning
Rating Pg-13 due to where this is going.
What: Shiro and Keith need to rearrange their room space and have a rather important talk about Season 6 related business and other things of a personal nature.
The wooden feet of the footboard he's hauling over his metal shoulder scrapes against the side of the door frame. He pauses and steps more to the left. The footboard is plain without any carvings or fancy adornment. Neither he or Keith care about making their shared room anything more than suitable for their needs.
He steps away from the open doorway and slowly lowers his burden down, propping it up against the stonewall. The hall is quiet with barely any foot traffic. Perfect time to exchange their beds for one singular bed.
He eyes the other pieces of his bed and runs his hand over the dark wood. He's stalling and he knows it. He forces himself to drop his hand and walks back into the room. This wrestling with himself has gone on long enough. If he keeps it up he'll go crazy. He retrieves a long plank from the side of the bed and clears his throat. "Keith," A minute passes and he bashfully ducks his head, the plank under one arm. "..." No words come out. It should be easy. The urge to reach out and tuck a lock of dark hair behind Keith's ear is hard to ignore.
so, why are the words so hard? He sighs and tries again. "Keith...we've got time. We should...talk about," He sweeps his hand back and forth about the room. "Us." It's not his best start. His heart is clenching in his chest and he is attempting and failing to hide how nervous he feels to even bring it up.
But it seems like no better time. They're already rearranging their space. It probably should have been brought up sooner. Yet... It's out there. That's what counts, isn't it?
Where: Their room in the temple
When: the 23rd, morning
Rating Pg-13 due to where this is going.
What: Shiro and Keith need to rearrange their room space and have a rather important talk about Season 6 related business and other things of a personal nature.
The wooden feet of the footboard he's hauling over his metal shoulder scrapes against the side of the door frame. He pauses and steps more to the left. The footboard is plain without any carvings or fancy adornment. Neither he or Keith care about making their shared room anything more than suitable for their needs.
He steps away from the open doorway and slowly lowers his burden down, propping it up against the stonewall. The hall is quiet with barely any foot traffic. Perfect time to exchange their beds for one singular bed.
He eyes the other pieces of his bed and runs his hand over the dark wood. He's stalling and he knows it. He forces himself to drop his hand and walks back into the room. This wrestling with himself has gone on long enough. If he keeps it up he'll go crazy. He retrieves a long plank from the side of the bed and clears his throat. "Keith," A minute passes and he bashfully ducks his head, the plank under one arm. "..." No words come out. It should be easy. The urge to reach out and tuck a lock of dark hair behind Keith's ear is hard to ignore.
so, why are the words so hard? He sighs and tries again. "Keith...we've got time. We should...talk about," He sweeps his hand back and forth about the room. "Us." It's not his best start. His heart is clenching in his chest and he is attempting and failing to hide how nervous he feels to even bring it up.
But it seems like no better time. They're already rearranging their space. It probably should have been brought up sooner. Yet... It's out there. That's what counts, isn't it?
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The answer...
It's surprising how freeing three little words can be. His chest tingles where Keith's hand is curling into the fabric of his shirt. He tightens his hold on Keith's arm and gently tugs him forward. "Keith..."
They need to talk, set the boundaries and work out everything in-between. But he wants to make sure Keith understands he's serious. When he's close enough he grips his chin, tilts his head up, and kisses him. There's no better way to make his words a reality.
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"Shiro..." he echoes back, in that moment before those fingers find his chin. Then words are impossible anyway because every last bit of breath is stolen from his lungs in the fraction of a second before Shiro's lips are on his. Keith may have imagined this once or twice or a thousand times before, but reality is so much better than anything his imagination could've dreamed up.
Keith's knees nearly go weak, but instead he's rising up to meet that kiss, gripping tighter at his shirt, like he can pull Shiro in closer, hold him closer, keep them both in this moment as long as it can be drawn out.
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"...We've been alright so far, but there will be changes, Keith. We already think in terms of 'us' but if you need to do things for yourself tell me about them. Talk to me. You know I won't stop you. No matter how far from me it takes you. I'll never chain you down."
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But he focuses. What Shiro is saying is important, and Keith wants to listen, wants to hear every word.
He nods, barely a movement at all. "I know. And I won't hold you back either, Shiro. As long as you come back to me." And if Shiro didn't, couldn't, well, Keith would go after him, find him wherever the universe tried to take him. But that has been true for a long time now. "But yeah. I'll talk to you. I'll try... this is new for me."
Really, really new. But it's Shiro, and he wants Shiro, wants to be with Shiro enough to take the risk, to leap. "I can't promise I won't mess it up."
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He runs his hand up and down Keith's back and delights that he can do that. "If it's in my power to do it. I'll come back to you." It's shockingly to him how this doesn't really feel like all that drastic of a shift in their dynamic. Shiro turns his head slightly to the side and coughs. "Anyway, we should move the old beds out and get our bed assembled."
Or he and Keith will end up bunking on a mattress on the floor.
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Keith watches Shiro as he speaks, violet eyes never breaking from that striking gray gaze. Making it through mistakes. Yeah. Keith can do that. That he has experience with, mistakes and moving through them. Sure this is a new arena but he's moving through it with Shiro. That makes the ground feel more certain beneath his feet.
"If it's not in your power, then I'll come for you," Keith informs him, but he thinks the other man may already know. He's been ready to tear down solar systems in between if he has to, to get to Shiro if the other needs him. It's another facet of this thing between them that remains the same.
For just a moment his gaze drops to the various bed parts.
"You're right. We should." Keith agrees, because Shiro is right. But agreement or not, that doesn't change how badly Keith wants to kiss him. The hand at his face draws down to his chin, coaxing Shiro to turn back to face him properly so Keith can surge up and claim his lips in another kiss. Just one more and then they can do the responsible thing. That's what he tells himself anyway.
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Shiro pulls back and grips Keith's shoulders. His eyes are darker, and he breathes out. "If we keep this up we won't finish talking and getting our room in order. After?" After they can do whatever the hell they want.
He knows there's no where he needs to be or tasks that need done. One day off being responsible isn't that terrible.
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But Shiro is speaking, and he forces himself to pay attention, focus on the words. There's a moment where he's clearly at war with himself, but better sense wins out in the end. Shiro is right. If they start, it's not going to stop, and they should talk. So Keith takes a breath and nods.
"After," he agrees and forces himself to step back -- not far, not out of reach, but far enough that he can't feel Shiro pressed against him because his brain will work better this way. "I'll try to be patient," he adds, with the faintest start of a grin trying to turn the corners of his lips upwards.
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He grabs what he can carry and heads for the door. Where to even start with the talk they need to have? He puts his load of bed pieces in the hall and returns. It hits him where would be best to start. "Now I remember how things went...my decision still stands. We're equals, Keith. It shouldn't have happened like that. But I don't have anything to say about your first time being the Black Paladin that you haven't already said to yourself or to me."
He gathers another load, eying the mattress. He knows Keith won't drop out on the team again. He's here to stay. Shiro breathes in and walks out. He comes back and shuts the door, by now there are just the mattresses left and this he doesn't want to be overheard.
"...and none of what he said during your battle at the facility was truly what either of us thought about you. I don't think that about you. I never have. My feelings for you have changed over time in so many ways...but I always saw your potential to become an incredible man."
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He leans it there, straightening himself up as Shiro speaks.
His eyes widen a little as the older man begins, but his expression settles, and he nods. Understanding. He'd made his mistakes, and he ran. The tension that had risen between him and the team, him and Shiro... there were a lot of pieces to it. "It shouldn't have. I know I made mistakes." And he knew he'd run, but he was finished running. He'd found what he needed to find, and the truth of it was that it had been there the whole time.
When Shiro returns again, the door shut, and Keith casts a questioning look in Shiro's direction. It makes sense though, when he talks about that moment, that terrible, terrible encounter on that cloning facility.
"I know." Keith makes his way closer again, looking up at Shiro. "I knew it wasn't you saying that." Even then, he didn't know why or how, but he'd known. "I know you wouldn't give up on me, Shiro." He glances down, exhaling a sound that's almost a laugh. "If you were going to give up on me, you had plenty of chances along the way before then. And you never did."
Keith stops, just in front of him, lifting his gaze to seek out Shiro's once more. "I meant what I said, in that place. I'll always mean it." He loves Shiro; the shape of that has changed over time since they met to where they are now, but Keith doesn't foresee it ever going away.
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"Next time a threat comes up we'll face it together." No matter what they'll charge into battle as a team. One of them is dangerous. Both of them are the promise of death.
He smoothes his hand down Keith's back and slowly lets him go. "You're not the only one that made mistakes back then, Keith. Even if he wasn't me, he still was. I will never repeat what happened." He opens the door, signaling the end of this part of the conversation.
"Grab the part of the mattress farthest from the door. I'll grab the front. We'll move it on three."
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So nothing in him resists those arms, nothing in him does anything but step in closer, pressing his face to Shiro's shoulder, winding his own arms around him in turn. The words wash over him, the first time he's heard them, and the wave of it is so strong it nearly sweeps him out in a riptide he can't possible escape from. Not that he wants to; he's all too happy to drown in them. This close he can breathe in the scent of him, familiar and so distinctly Shiro. "I love you too, Shiro." It seems so important to speak the words, to his Shiro this time, even if Shiro may have the memories of that time. They've found each other though, across life and death, and against so many odds.
"Together," he echoes, lips curving into a smile. Them against whatever comes their way. "I like those odds."
It's only reluctantly that he releases his hold as Shiro lets him go. He glances at the mattress for a moment like it has personally offended him by still being there and not having sorted itself. But all right. He's on task now. "Got it."
Keith lifts the end of the mattress, and all at once he can't hold back a laugh. "We really started this talk in the middle of putting together our bed." Timing is everything.
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Or it would have been awkward. "Or been awkward. You deserved better." He respects him and wants to do his best. He laughs quietly. "It turned out fine." Now they just need to get this moved. Move in their mattress and set up the bed. The spirits will carry away what isn't needed. "Setting up the bed won't take long. Between us, we can get it done in no time. ...so now would be the time to say anything you want to be clear about."
He has no doubt Keith has something to say.
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Shiro is right though. It turned out fine, and the words are out there, out in the open air and they haven't dissolved or shattered. This thing between them has a name now, and Keith is somewhere between relieved and excited, thrilled in a way that he's not entirely sure how to handle. He's managing so far, but it escapes in the relieved smile that keeps lingering on his face.
"Right..." Things to be clear about. This is all new ground for Keith, unexplored and unknown, but he seldom lets that stop him anyway. "The only thing... you're everything to me, Shiro. And that isn't going to change. So I want to do this right. As long as we're honest with each other, I think it'll be all right. I'm... I know I'm not always good at talking about certain things. But I'll try. So don't... don't try to shoulder everything yourself, okay? We're partners, right?" With every possible connotation of those words. But Keith means it. He wants to be able to support Shiro, be there for him, and he's well aware the both of them aren't always up front about the heavier burdens they carry.
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He sets the mattress against the stone wall as the spirits whisk it away with the rest. He takes that moment to look Keith in the eyes. It hits him again that Keith is his. He has been for a while but neither saw it. They'd passed the tests, and Keith hadn't abandoned him. Even when it would have meant his end. That bothers him a little. "We are. I'm not used to sharing everything, but I'll try my best. So long as you do the same. You're everything to me too, Keith."
But he knows he'd do the same thing in his place. He walks past him back into the room. "You lead us out the door this time." He grabs the back end of the other mattress and lifts when Keith is ready. "You don't have to be good at talking about certain things. Sometimes all I need is someone to listen to me."
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Not that he would.
He is, however, running to the end of his patience; his well is running dry. It's bound to happen eventually. "Listening I can do," Keith nods, leading out into the hallway, peering at Shiro down the length of the mattress. In fact it's hard to tear his gaze away from Shiro right now -- it's been harder and harder, and now he has no reason to try to hide it. Shiro is his, and Keith won't give him up now that he knows he can have him.
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The contact if allowed is so welcome he sighs, utterly content. “It’s just a little longer Keith. We can put our room in order so we don’t have to do it later.” He really wants to just let things go. That’s exactly why he can’t allow it. He shuts the door behind them and slowly releases his best friend turned boyfriend. “Let’s lay out the bedframe. Between us we can get this done in fifteen minutes...don’t rush it. We’ll be sleeping here.” Together. His control slips and he steps in close, his hand tangling in Keith’s dark hair as he leans down to kiss him, finally, again.
This is exactly what they both need as a small break. Their talk hadn’t taken as long as he thought it would. It doesn’t surprise him.
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Don't rush it.
Keith takes a breath and is preparing himself for a slow silent countdown to try to keep hold of his willpower -- he's gripping to it with the very edges of his fingertips, a millimeter from slipping. "Right. The bedframe."
For a moment, Keith almost thinks he can do it. But then those hands are in his hair and those lips are on his and to hell with everything else. Beds can wait. The world can wait.
Keith surges up against him, kissing back, all eagerness and need. Maybe it's not surprising that he comes at this the way he comes at everything, throwing himself fully into it, the same way he dives into a battle, the same way he launches forward in the cockpit. But this is worlds more important. He's wanted this, wanted Shiro, for longer than he's even been able to put it into words in his own mind. His hands run up Shiro's chest, up until his hands are on either side of Shiro's neck, fingers pressing insistently at the nape of his neck.
The bed has slipped his mind entirely.
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There's just their hot breaths and the feel of Keith up against him and the soft warmth of his mouth on his. Wanting this and wanting Keith snuck up on him. It had built itself into a storm without his knowledge until the idea of being without it tore something inside him.
He spins them around and pins Keith up against the door, trapping him there with his body as he nips at his bottom lip. He completely forgets about anything else.
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But Keith is happy to be overwhelmed. He barely realizes they're moving, not until he feels the hard surface of the door at his back, feels Shiro pressed close and realizes that he's trapped, and god he loves it. His toes curl against the floor, and he arches towards Shiro, pressing close, pulling him closer, hands moving greedily down shoulders, arms, gripping.
He loses a low, wordless sound to Shiro's lips before he forces himself to draw back just long enough to take a shaky breath before leaning close again, seeking out his lips once more.
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He waits with his heart pounding in his chest. One breath feels like an eternity. Keith leans in and he meets him halfway in a gentle kiss that's sweet and chaste. They should slow down. He doesn't want things to go too fast. Still, he breaks away from his lips to sweep Keith's dark hair aside. He follows the line of his jaw down the bared neck, scraping his teeth against his skin.
To mark. Or not mark? He decides to do it and sucks on the side of Keith's neck as his hands slide up and down his sides. His. All his.
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His breath catches, held a moment and then exhaled in a sound that shakes more than he means it to. He can feel Shiro's mouth at his neck. Fingers nearly fly up to tangle as best he can into short white hair, gripping, all encouragement. He knows it's leaving a mark, and even the thought of it has a groan trying to break free.
But he fully plans on returning the favor, on leaving some sign on Shiro's skin. Shiro is his, and Keith will fight the entire universe for him if it comes to it.
"Shiro..." Keith breathes his name out like a prayer, the hand not buried in Shiro's hair slipping down, finding the hemline of his t-shirt, fingers sipping beneath it ever so slightly, so only the tips of his fingers touch ever so lightly against the skin at the small of his back. Keith has never been good at slow, never been good at holding back. He's controlled himself this far, this long.
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He catches his breath. "Keith..." He's not sure what else to say right now. He brushes Keith's dark hair away from his face and cups his cheek. "Doing okay?"
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His fingers slide further up Shiro's back, smile only widening at the question. For a moment he allows himself to turn into that hand, eyes shutting before opening and turning back to Shiro. "Okay doesn't even come close," he answers.
And then he's in motion, because Keith isn't the type to leave an attack unanswered. He leans up teeth and lips and tongue making a deliberate trail down that strong jawline, down to his neck. He has a favor to return here. He bites first, sharp, hard, before his lips soothe over the spot, gentle for only a moment before he begins to suck a mark to the surface. Mine.
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His thoughts shatter and he audibly groans, digging his metal fingers into the door at the hot, sharp sting of pain followed by a gentle soothing. He leans forward pinning Keith to the door. There's no escaping now not that either of them wants that. He slips his hand free of Keith's shirt to tangle his fingers in his hair as he whispers,
"Yours." How did things end up like this? He's not sure. But as he tips his head back, utterly surrendering to Keith...it just feels like the final piece of the puzzle between them slotting into place. "All yours."
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And then quieter, "All yours." It's a promise, and it's the simple truth, even if that truth is a realization that has only now made its way into the light.
Keith's eyes focus for a moment over Shiro's shoulder, and all at once his shoulders shake in a nearly silent laugh. "I guess it would be nice to have a bed right now..." Oops. Oh well. Still no regret. Not even a moment of it, for how this played out.
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"I want us to take our time with this. We just realized we're a we." He laughs to himself as he turns his head just enough to press it against the side of Keith's. "How about we get some breakfast and coffee. That will cool us off a little." A little. He already wants to put his mouth and hands on him again.
He wraps his arms around Keith, chin on his shoulder. "I just want to do right by you, Keith."
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He smells so good and feels so warm and so solid. Keith shuts his eyes and tries to get a handle on himself, starts the silent repeated mantra of patience yields focus because maybe that will help. Okay. He can do this.
His arms wind around Shiro in turn. He nods. "Breakfast and coffee sound great." How well it actually cools them off, is another question.
A pause and Keith adds, voice quieter, more serious. "You always have. Ever since we met, you've done right by me." Far more than he ever deserved, and now here they are, and Keith has never in his life felt more like he's found where he belongs. "I want to do right by you too."
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Shiro presses a kiss to the side of his face and lets go of him just enough to open the door. "So. I can manage eggs and bacon. That good enough?" The idea of being able to do that much is nice. He doesn't see a need to be fancy or surprising. They're pretty practical. He releases him at last and steps out into the hall and turns to face. His eyes are warm and he looks rumpled, messy, but happy.
He makes no move to cover the marks on his neck.
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"Sounds perfect." And it does. Simple and practical works for him. For them. It's nice.
Keith is a mess too, hair in full disarray and likely beyond help, clothes disheveled. He catches sight of one of the marks he left on Shiro's neck and doesn't even bother trying to disguise the grin, terribly pleased with himself for it. Without a word, he starts walking, reaching out to catch Shiro's fingers with his own as he steps parallel with him and continues moving forward. "I'll make the coffee."
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If at all possible, it makes him look messier. He lets it go. Shiro reaches for Keith's reaching hand and settles his hand in his, lacing their fingers together. "We can fix up the bed when we're done."
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Watching Shiro try to put himself in order and fail helps. Keith has to look away to hide the grin that wants to rise. He tightens his fingers around Shiro's just briefly, before nodding.
"Right. The bed. Sounds like a plan." So long as they get there without being sidetracked this time. Probably doable. For now though, breakfast.