That's one way to put it.

[He's not even sure if that word does it justice, but he certainly knows he feeling Zach is talking about.]

However it's done, we're certainly alive now. How and why is beyond me and most of the people I've spoken to. I've gotten to the point where I think I need to go directly to the source, Astoria herself. She might have a better answer for me.

[He's more or less been putting it off out of fear of what that answer might be though.]