acatalepsy_logs | [closed] i have twenty-three tiny wishes

[All of the business with the newly-revealed lake and the cavern exploration had given them both the opportunity to put this particular talk off just a little bit longer— it's not that Aerith doesn't want them to be on the same page, but there's a tight feeling in her chest whenever she lets herself dwell on all the differences between their stories. Whatever happens, she's sure they're both going to hear plenty of things they don't want to— particularly when it comes to where their own stories end, something she's avoided saying explicitly these last few weeks.

She looks up at the sound of his familiar gait, smiling in greeting. She'd been kneeling beside one of the flowerbeds out in the courtyard, having made a practice of coming to tend to them since the disease they'd been plagued with had faded away.]

I guess that makes me pretty predictable, hmm?

[But of course, this is absolutely where she'd be.]

Out for a walk, or were you looking for me specifically?

Makes you easier to find, this temple is still a maze to me.

[It still is very strange for Zack to actually be spending his days in this temple now. He's used to barracks and camps but a temple is just ... Odd. Mazelike and out of place. It doesn't feel like home.

He strides over and moves to sit down nearby. He glances over the bed of flowers that seem to be doing tenfolds better now that the plague has stopped rotting everything away. Or is it Aerith's green touch that has them in better shape already?]

And yeah, looking for you. Thought you might want to talk for a while. You know, the old catch up.

[She knows what about. He's somewhat apprehensive but his curiosity is winning out.]

It is pretty easy to get lost here. I don't think that's going to change, if Astoria can reveal more beyond the temple grounds the way she did the lake— we'll have plenty more places to explore and get lost if that keeps up.

[But he's not here to talk about the temple. There are things they've been putting off, conversations they haven't let themselves have just yet, continually telling one another that they'll save it for another day, for when they're ready.

Some of it, she's not sure either of them will ever be ready for, but there's too much that's been left unsaid. Her smile fades slightly, but she nods once, getting to her feet so that she can gesture for him to join her on one of the stone benches present.]

Of course. We're overdue, aren't we?

[Understandably so. Much of what they have to say isn't exactly easy to talk about, and their stories keep not matching up.]

[He moves to sit with her. And for a second in time Zack feels a little speechless as the tension rises back to his shoulders. But he swallows it back and smiles at her as easy-going as as he can try to seem.]

... Not really sure where to start if I'm being honest with you.

[From the beginning? The middle? The end?]

It's okay.

[She's not sure where to start, either, but—]

You mentioned that what I told you about Cloud's story didn't match up with what happened. Maybe... you could start there? Tell me about Nibelheim.

[As much as he can, at least.]

Right. Right.

[Zack rubs a hand over his face for a moment as he tries to gather up where this all starts.]

We were being sent out on a mission to Nibelheim. Me, Sephiroth and a handful of Shinra troops. Just a small group of us. To check out the reactor there. And Cloud was assigned as one of those troops. I was glad he was on with us, being able to visit home and all that.

[Zack points out that Cloud was a Shinra infantry troop-- Not a SOLDIER. It was only Zack and Sephiroth as the assigned first class men there.]

It started off easy enough. Scope out the town, check out the old Shinra mansion, grab a tour guide and then head up the mountain to the reactor. That's where I met Tifa.

Cloud told me that he was a member of SOLDIER. First class. That's why— I asked him if he knew you, when we first met.

[Yet another thing to take note of, another detail differing between stories, though by no means a minor one. Frowning slightly, she reaches over to take his hand as she listens, encouraging him to continue.]

Tifa had mentioned she was a tour guide. She never said anything about Cloud not being in SOLDIER, but... I got the feeling that something about the story he told didn't sit right with her. Why wouldn't she mention you?

[He rubs a thumb over her hand slowly.]

... I don't know for sure why she wouldn't. But. My best guess is...

[She was protecting Cloud.

Zack goes into detail about how Sephiroth went loopy after seeing the monsters in pods inside the reactor. How they left him in the basement of the mansion for a few days. Cloud being nervous, talks about Tifa and his hometown, etc...

... And then the day they walked out the door to the town engulfed in flames. He chased his way up to the reactor only to find Tifa bleeding on the floor. Then he went to face Sephiroth head-to-head himself.

Then he tells her how he lost.]

... It was Cloud that finished him. He must of followed behind me but when I saw him from where I was on the ground all I could think of was telling him to finish Sephiroth off before it was too late. That he was the only one who could.

["Cloud... Finish Sephiroth off..."]

I think I blacked out after that. Honestly, I thought I was gonna die right there. But then the last thing I remember before everything gets really fuzzy is Hojo's voice. He was taking Cloud somewhere. He was taking both of us somewhere.

[Aerith listens the whole while, attentive, her expression somber, never retracting her hand from his. The story has so many parallels to the one she'd heard from Cloud in Kalm, but it was so much more recent for Zack— he had to be telling the truth, didn't he? She trusts Zack, and while she trusts Cloud, too—

She has to go with her gut instinct on this one.

There's a long pause before she says anything, the mention of Hojo's name causing her expression to darken, her brows knitting together.]

... Hojo.

[He'd tried to breed her with an animal— an admittedly well-spoken animal, but— that certainly wasn't all he did.]

I shouldn't be surprised to hear he was involved.

[Please never tell Zack that Hojo wanted to breed her with an animal he would have a god damn fit.]

He's a coward of a man.

[There is bitterness in his voice and he decides to look at the ground for a moment. He can still remember the taste of chemicals at the back of his throat and the sting of mako in his veins.]

He ... kept us for testing. I don't know what he did to us but he put Cloud and me in these tubes and all I can remember is getting more mako injections than a normal SOLDIER should ever have in a lifetime.

[He is so sorry, Aerith. He doesn't know exactly how long he was in there for.]

Everything was a blur for a while. My body changed and I still don't know exactly how or in what ways. When I managed to get a hold of myself enough I broke out. I got Cloud out... But he could barely stand. He couldn't even speak.

[He sighs.] I did my best to get us the hell out of there.

[She can't argue that, and only nods as her expression becomes all the more somber. Hojo had seemed to wrong a number of her friends in one way or another, and it makes her wonder what else he might have done. As Zack goes on, her expression darkens, and her grip on his hand tightens.]

Zack...

[Her voice breaks, just a little. All that time he'd been gone, the letters left unanswered—]

Cloud... he never mentioned anything about that. I knew Shinra was doing experiments, I grew up in the middle of them, but—

[But that was different, because it was her, and all she knew. It wasn't someone she cared about being taken from her, never to be seen again.]

... I wish I could have done something to help you. Hojo is a monster. Do you think— maybe Cloud was so damaged by what happened that he didn't remember?

[Zack turns to her a little more. His hand squeezes hers back. He wants to pull her into a hug but for the moment he waits. This is a lot of heavy information. But he does bring up a hand to tug her chin up and he's smiling a little.]

The last thing I would want would be for you to get anywhere near Hojo.

[Then he nods solemnly.]

Cloud was pretty damn out of it. The Mako in our systems... I was used to the effects even at the high levels that were being injected into us. Cloud wasn't a SOLDIER, he was just a foot solider. So I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't remember any of this.

[SOLIDERS are infused with Mako very early in their careers. His body had a tolerance to it. But Cloud...]

[She smiles thinly— of course that's the last thing he wants, but there's so much he doesn't know, concerning both what's happened to her since he left and before they ever met. It fades, her brow furrowed slightly as she listens to his own assessment of the situation.]

When I met him... he seemed like he knew exactly who he was. SOLDIER, First Class. I don't think he was lying, at least not intentionally.

[The Cloud she knows wouldn't do that.]

I think... even if he didn't know what really happened, he really believed everything he told me.

[Zack feels a pang of guilt eat at his heart. If he somehow had a hand in messing up Cloud's head for him to think that his life was something it wasn't...?

Cloud. He's so sorry. He knew how much Cloud wanted to be SOLDIER. How hard he worked for it ...]

Maybe ... It was alright for him to believe it. What he believed was better than what actually happened.

Maybe it was.

[Her gaze drops. Even only knowing what she's heard secondhand, now...

Maybe it was better for him to forget.]

Do you think the way he remembered things changed so that his subconscious could protect him?

More than likely.

[He's no psychologist. No doctor. But after the crap he and Cloud had to go through who wouldn't want to forget what happened?]

Aerith. After I managed to get Cloud and I out of Nibelheim, Shinra troops hunted us down. Hojo wasn't happy that his little pet hamsters escaped their cages.

[He wrings his hands.]

I got Cloud out as far as I could. With some help from some friends. [Cissnei ... Tseng ...] We were trying to get to Midgar when ...

[He trails off, but she doesn't need him to finish that sentence.

She knows. That's when he'd come here, wasn't it?]

You were attacked.

[She lays her hand over both of his as he wrings them, hoping to offer him some sort of solace.]

That's it, isn't it? Why Cloud made it to Midgar, and— you never did.

[He lets out a heavy breath. It's actually quite the weight off his shoulders to be able to hear it out loud. To have someone acknowledge that this happened to him. It makes it real. It makes his efforts known. Damn. He tried so hard...]

Yeah.

[He doesn't know what to say after that. He got shot up into oblivion.

So instead he takes a second to turn to her, pulling her to him and pressing his forehead to hers.]

I'm sorry I never made it.

[The shift is sudden and unexpected, but as their foreheads meet, she closes her eyes and puts her arms around his neck, her chest tight with a feeling she can't quite define. He was attacked, and he never came home— so he really was dead.

They had that in common for sure now, she supposed.]

It's okay.

[There's a very faint waver to her voice, even as a faint smile pulls at her lips.]

I know that you did your best. You did everything you could.

[More than most would, she thinks. What more could anyone ask of him? Her eyes open, and she regards him sadly with their foreheads still pressed together.]

We're together now. I'm grateful for that.

[There's a small warmth that erupts in his chest. Strong enough to make him want to pull her closer to him. He can smell her hair and feel her warmth and all he wants to do is bask in it. Like the day he looked up at her from a bed of broken wood and flowers. How many years did they lose and how much time did they have to make up for? He's not sure. But he knows that her light is something that he reached for the entire time and even now he's still drawn to it like a moth to a flame.]

As long as this universe lets me... I'll stay right here with you.

[He shifts, leaning forward just slightly and his lips get closer to hers. He wants so badly to kiss those pretty lips. But something makes him hesitate.]

Aerith?

[She, too, feels that same urge, but there's something that keeps her from leaning in to press her lips to his, the weight of her own secrets that she has yet to share. His worse bring a genuine smile to her face, one that fades only slightly at the hesitant way he says her name.]

Yes?

[She hasn't pulled away from him, her fingers now curled loosely into the hair at the nape of his neck. They have more to talk about, but—

After so many years apart, she wants to enjoy this, even if it's just for another moment longer.]

[They still have so much to talk about and he still has to finish hearing about her story. He has to hear what her journey with Cloud was like and what happened at the end of it all. His mind lingers to Cloud again and he wonders how she feels about him. Cloud took care of her where he couldn't.

Maybe he shouldn't kiss her just yet. It's not ... the right moment.

He reaches to run the pad of his thumb gently across her cheek before he pulls back just a little.]

What happened with you? After you met Cloud.

[Though she's tempted to close the distance between them and do the same, there's too much left unsaid, and his question causes her hold on him to loosen slightly. She pulls back, though not completely away— just enough space to make it easier to talk, with the hand at the back of his neck dropping to rest on his knee, instead.

Right. Where to begin with that?]

It's a very long story.

[Get comfortable.]

I told you he started out as my bodyguard, but it wasn't long before we were swept up into something much bigger than either of us realized. Tifa, too— she was there, and there were others. Sephiroth was seen in Midgar, even though nobody had seen him for ages.

[Zack watches her carefully.]

Yeah. I remember you saying something about him returning. I thought he was dead. I thought Cloud managed to finish him off.

[But if he is alive then he wonders just how pissed of his old General actually is. After all that mumbling and crazy talk he did about being superior to human life only to get nearly killed by a foot soldier... If he knows anything about Sephiroth it's that he's probably pissed.]

[She nods slowly, and she already knows she won't be able to give him as detailed a story as he'd offered her— there's just so much that they don't know, but what she does know for certain is disturbing, at best.]

Cloud was surprised to see him, too, although I'm not sure he remembered that part.

[He hadn't mentioned killing Sephiroth, only that he never saw him again. It was thought that he'd been away on a mission for a long time— at least, that was one of the many rumors that circulated.]

... he killed the president of Shinra. When we all left Midgar, we followed him, but never quite managed to catch up, until he found his way to the Temple of the Ancients. [She pauses briefly, searching his face to see if that seems to mean anything to him.] Have you ever heard of it?

[So even after all of Zack's efforts Sephiroth still somehow managed to get out alive and cause issues for everyone. How far did his madness go? ...

He looks to her and furrows his eyebrows trying to recall anything about a temple.]

... The Ancients.

[Tseng said something about that once, didn't he? Maybe.]

Sort of. Thought it was just all textbooks and myths.

[She shakes her head, pressing her lips together momentarily.]

They're very real. My mother... she was one.

[Which means that she herself is, too, but she's sure he can draw that conclusion himself.]

I didn't know what that meant for a long time. It's only recently that I started to learn more about the people that came before her, although— I think Hojo has kept most of that information to himself.

[Always back to that bastard Hojo.]

So, you're special. I knew it. I knew you were an angel when I first saw you.

[There's a slight happy smirk from Zack, glad to add in a bit of lightheartedness into the mix. All of this has been so heavy he feels like he needs a smile from her soon or he'll wither up.]

... Tseng used to say something about you having to be protected.

[She can't help but blush at that— she's not the shy type these days, but still. Zack has a certain way with words.]

Well, sounds like you were right.

[At least about being special. At his mention of Tseng, she smiles, though there's something bittersweet about it.]

Some people saw it that way. I don't think I would have been very well-protected with Shinra, though.

[Zack presses his lips in a thin line at that. He agrees that ShinRa, for the most part, are piles of shit. He's not sure why he stuck around for as long as he did. But Tseng and Cissnei were probably the biggest factors why alongside his desire for seeing the good in his career and trying to hang on to that. If it weren't for Tseng and Cissnei, Cloud might have died before Zack could get him far enough away.]

But Cloud managed to find you. Eventually.

[He nods.]

With Sephiroth on the run I'm sure ShinRa got even shader in their dealings and trying to cover it all up.

He did.

[She nods, and there's a faint smile that tugs at one corner of her lips, soft and undeniably fond. She's grateful for the time she'd been able to spend with Cloud, even if it's over now.]

It was by accident, of course, or at least I thought it was, but... maybe it was fate.

[Or maybe Zack himself had somehow managed to guide them to one another after returning to the planet. That's—

No, that's silly.]

Shinra's been chasing after Sephiroth ever since he showed up again. They've gotten close, but even if they did manage to catch up to him, I don't think they would be able to do anything. What he wants...

[She exhales, shaking her head.]

Not just anyone can stop it. He took the Black Materia from the Temple of the Ancients, and his plans for it will mean destruction for our planet. There's only one way to stop it that I know of, but— I don't know if I was successful.

Black Materia?

[This is where Zack sounds a little confused. Sephiroth means to destroy the whole planet? He gets that the guy was having some serious mother issues and felt that he had been denied ... something but to destroy all life?

How did Sephiroth even get that much power?

... Angeal... What would say if you could hear this?]

What was... the one way to stop it?

The White Materia.

[She instinctively reaches for her ribbon as if to pull it free and show him the materia in question, but of course her fingers only brush against pink silk and her own hair. Right... it hadn't made the trip with her, and for good reason.]

My mother left it to me. For the longest time, I thought it was useless— good for absolutely nothing, but the Ancients spoke to me. I knew I had to find the City of the Ancients and draw on the energy there to make it work, but—

[She averts her gaze, unable to meet his eyes.]

Sephiroth caught on. He followed me. I knew that he might, that I was taking a risk in going on my own. He was determined to stop me.

[Somehow- Zack doesn't need Aerith to finish her explanation from the last few points she makes. She found a way to stop Sephiroth and the man went after her first.

The blood on Aerith's pink dress when he saw her here--

The look in her eye when he told her of his own apparent fate--

Sephiroth had always been a man that Zack looked up to. A man that would take initiative and that burned with ambition and fire. He was stern and stoic but there was a way about him that people were drawn to him. The life almost other-worldly in his eyes. He was a man that never gave up and when he wanted something he took it.

... He stopped Aerith.

Zack doesn't say anything as he pulls Aerith into his arms and holds her tightly with trembling shoulders. He heart feels like it could break into a thousand more pieces. There are regrets deep inside of him. Why didn't stop Sephiroth? Why wasn't he strong enough? Was pushing Cloud to go on without him not enough? There are so many things in his head that it feels like it might split.

All he can muster is a quiet...] You... pulled it off, though. Didn't you.

[The White Materia.]

[Though she's sorry to have to give him this sort of news at all, that telling him about the future means revealing that she wasn't as safe as he might have hoped, she's glad that he's able to put the pieces together. She's glad that she doesn't have to spell it out, that there's an understanding between them, however grim the circumstances might be.

But to his question, she nods, a small and somber movement.]

I did. At least... I think I did. I don't know if my prayer reached the planet or not, but... I hope so. I gave it everything I had.

[Holy would come, wouldn't it?]

Aren't we two peas in a pod.

[Zack lets out a slightly defeated sigh. The both of them had fought so hard for something bigger and more important than themselves. Honestly, someone should write a play about them. A real screwed up version of Romeo and Juliet.

He glances at her and looks at how green her eyes are.]

But with you behind the prayer... I'm sure it worked. You've got nothing to worry about.

We have more in common than we first thought, don't we?

[She smiles faintly, even though neither of their tales are any laughing matter. Still... she has no regrets. She had given her all, and it would have to be enough— for everyone's sake.

She takes his hand once more, lacing their fingers together.]

I knew what the risk was, and in the end, it means I got to see you again, doesn't it?

[He squeezes her hand in his. It's a small comfort to know that they're together again despite the grim circumstances.]

Maybe staying in this world for a little while isn't so bad after all.

[Because they can be together this way. At least... For a little while.]

[closed] i have twenty-three tiny wishes

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