acatalepsy_logs | [OPEN] Well. That Didn't Go Quite As Planned

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[OPEN] Well. That Didn't Go Quite As Planned

Who: EVERYONE
Where: The Temple of Beginnings
When: Immediately After The End.
Rating: PG-13, may vary by thread
What: You fall, you pick yourself back up and you move on. Or at least, you try.

Fished Out Of Water
One minute, you are witnessing the fabric of an entire world implode as it is literally ripped apart by powers unknown. The next, that tell-tale twist somewhere beneath your sternum, before you are bodily YANKED away from Akvos, away from the ocean and the Queen and the King and the Princess.

And land back on (mostly) solid, dry ground.

Welcome back to the Temple of Beginnings. Don't worry, there's no hurry for you to get back up just yet.

Hey, Howya Doin'?
Once you do get back up, now is the time to be taking stock of the situation - yours, your friends, and even those new merfolk neighbours (who may need a hand getting their fins back into the water). There is also the missing members of the Circle to consider: people who disappeared on the journey to Akvos, and those who never made it back..

(There's also that small matter with a certain 'witchess-san' that may be a cause for concern to some more than others.)

Whatever the case, it's a lot to process right now. Take the time you have, because you don't know if it'll be enough for what you need.

[[ OOC: Here's an open post for threads reacting to the end of the Akvos world hop. Feel free to use the above prompts, and/or make your own! ]]

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[Heroes don't cry like this, a voice nags in the back of his head. He wants to stop, he really does. He wanted to be the one offering comfort and standing strong but he's completely fallen apart.

When Hank puts an arm around his shoulders, he collapses into the embrace without a second thought. Izuku likes to imagine he can handle things on his own, to not burden others with his problems, but right he just... can't. He can't do anything but collapse. And he's grateful to be soothed like a child. He'll definitely have to make this up to the lieutenant later.

He sniffles loudly and tries to wipe his wet face on his sleeve.]

'm sorry.

[Hank pulls back just far enough to look down at him. It occurs to him, faintly, that - oh yeah, he's not supposed to touch people. But, fuck, it's not like the kid could be feeling anything worse right now. If it looks like Hank's power might be doing some shit to Izuku's state of mind Hank'll step back, but he's going to be bad enough at this shit without worrying about magic BS gumming up the works. He doesn't know if he could stand to step back anyway, not while the kid's still... Yeah. Not right now. He's supposed to try not to touch people anymore, but maybe all bets are off right now.]

Shit, sorry? What the fuck are you sorry for?

[Wait. Okay. He swears more when he's been drinking. And when he's just lived through society-ending disasters. But Izuku needs an adult right now. Hank's red eyes and his deep, shaky breaths might give it away, that the whole adult thing is a really shitty act, or maybe his sharp, almost stinging smell that pretty much matches that open bottle over there might give him away, but he slaps a mental post-it up on the inside of his brain reminding himself to watch his damn mouth, and he tries to figure it out anyway, how to act like a goddamn adult.]

Look, uh. Do you want- [He glances around for inspiration. The bottles? Haha fuck no. Um.] Do you wanna, um... talk? About it?

[He says it like he's not sure it's even coming out of his mouth. Oh boy is hearing about how life changingly horrific all that shit was not what Hank needs right now, but he's about eighty percent sure talking about it's what he's supposed to encourage right now, and if it helps this poor fuckin kid right now, well. What the hell. Why the fuck not.]

[If anything is going on, Izuku doesn't notice, in fact he just leans further into Hank's hug, desperately glad for someone older to steady him. He gets the feeling that this is probably difficult for Hank and part of him hates to impose. But he can't tear himself away. Maybe he's still more of a kid than he wants to admit.

He hiccups.]

I know I shouldn't... shouldn't cry. I should think about the people we were able to help but- What if we just went about everything all wrong? And it's... [He shudders, trying not to actively sob.] On us? I... I went into the rift. I didn't even think about what else was going on-!

[He knows it's a bad thought cycle to be in. What he could have done with all the knowledge of now instead of focusing on what he did do. All Might and all of his teachers would chastise him for it. But he can't get it out of his head.]

It's not on you, you're just-

[He sighs, rubbing the kid's back while he thinks. 'You're just a kid', probably not the way to go with this, here. It's true, but- fuck it, it won't work, whatever. Okay. He can pummel his brain into figuring out how to say the right thing, just... give him a second. Give him a few seconds.]

Okay. Look- Why did you go into it? No, uh, judgement or anything, I went in too, so if that- if that had something to do with, uh, with what-

[Hank swallows. He swallows again. He ducks his head over Izuku's, clearing his throat.]

Look, we don't know what happened, right? All that magic shi- stuff's way above our paygrade, yours and mine both. For now just tell me why you went in. What you were thinking about, what you wanted to do.

[Izuku takes a shuddering breath, the back rubs easing his breathing away from sobs and into just hiccups and sniffles.

He rubs at his face, trying to stop himself from leaking everywhere, and hoping it jumpstarts his brain.]

Um. I heard there were people trapped in there and I wanted to help. It seemed like... the right thing to do would be to go help them as soon as possible. But everything with the King and Queen I just... didn't even think about it. I was only focused on the rift.

So. Sounds like you were tryin to do something good, to me.

[He keeps rubbing circles into the kid's back, tries to smile down at him, then calls that last part off quick cause he doesn't know what it was his face was doing just then but it wasn't what he wanted it to.

Okay. Smile's asking a little too much right now. Noted.]

Did you have any reason to believe any of that was a bad call? What did you know about the situation when you did it?

[What's not asking too much? Pretending Izuku's one of the newbies he used to help find their way in the force way back when after one of them'd done or seen something particularly bad, worse than the daily grind of moderately-to-pretty-bad shit. Admittedly, uh, hugging and back rubs weren't usually a part of that. And the newbies were at least a decade older. But the pretense gives Hank kind of a loose script to follow, and that helps. It means he can wall up his own bullshit with one part of his brain, and be an actual adult with the other. Multitasking.]

I was. I just wanted to be helpful.

[Which he's come to realize is much harder without a Quirk that makes you super strong and fast. But he gets where Hank is coming from and working the through the thought process logically, as well as the back rubs, are starting to him down.

He wipes his face on his sleeve for the nth time.]

No. I just... It seemed like we didn't really know anything about that world. We thought we did and we tried but... in the end... maybe that's why we failed.

What? And where the fu- Where were we supposed to get that info?

[He reminds himself he's here to talk about the kid's issues, getting defensive about this isn't gonna help Izuku and he tries to sound less defensive, he tries. He starts his hand moving on the kid's back again, although the movement's a little more irregular than it was.]

I guess if someone here's an expert in stupid fuckin magic shit this whole thing's on them, but what were we supposed to do? How the- how were we supposed to know? I don't even know what happened back there! I still don't have a clue if-

[Yeah, he was trying to sound less defensive, wasn't he? Clearly didn't try hard enough.

Right. Okay.

Hank takes a couple seconds. He swallows. He takes a breath, letting it out hard though his nose. His voice still comes out hard, but it's not defensive any more, so that's... fine.]

It wasn't your fault. [He hopes that's what the kid wants to hear right now, because that's what Hank has.] There's nothing you coulda done, or known, that you didn't already. Okay? You were tryin to help.

[Izuku nods, no longer actively crying, just sniffling and hiccuping. It is comforting to hear that. Even though his mind still can't stop thinking about all the things he missed, all the things he should have done, could have done, would have done. It's that funny break between what he knows in his head to be true and what he feels in his heart. Hopefully, his heart would catch up to his head in due time.

As his tears subside, he can catch the notes of defensiveness in Hank's voice. And a frustrated part of him, can't help but agree. What were they supposed to do? How were they supposed to know anything? They'd been flung into this mess and tried their best and their best hadn't been enough. But they hadn't been playing with a full deck of cards.

He sniffles and leans against Hank as both the catharsis and emotional exhaustion weigh on him. Finally he finds his voice, soft and quiet.]

It wasn't your fault either. ...It-it wasn't really fair.

[So the kid leans against Hank for a minute, and while he doesn't seem like he needs Hank to talk Hank goes quiet, starts getting lost in his head, looks over the kid's shoulder toward his bottle over there. Then he looks down, startled, when Izuku talks.]

I don't even-

[What the fuck is he doing? Reassuring this kid he can maybe do. Putting that kid in a position where he has to reassure Hank? No. Hank grimaces. What he's going to do is pretend to ignore the question of fault and keep his bullshit to his own damn self.]

No. It wasn't fair.

[His voice comes out quiet, and the hand on Izuku's back moves up to squeeze his shoulder. He wonders if this is the kid's first lesson in that, in exactly how fair the world fucking isn't.]

Sorry.

[Izuku nods weakly.

He actually thought he'd known life wasn't fair. He was the kid who wanted to be a hero more than anything but was one of the few born without any superpowers. But had felt... impartial, dispassionate. Genetics didn't have an agenda, it wasn't fair, but it was nothing but random chance.

But he couldn't shake it felt like someone had let them down. That someone, somewhere, should have done something to give them a better shot. That someone dropped the ball and left them to be thrown to the wolves. It was a different sort of unfairness. One that was harder to swallow.]

Thank you. And I'm... sorry for crying. I had actually wanted to make sure you were okay before...

[The floodgates opened. Though apologizing for crying makes his voice a little wobbly. Honestly he cries a lot just not usually... this hard.]

Hey, don't worry about it.

[That little wobble in the kid's voice gets Hank rubbing circles in the back of his shoulder again, and he tries for a little smile. It comes out twitchy and doesn't last long, but it probably wasn't scary like his last try at smiling was, so hey. That's fine.]

Don't worry about me. You just focus on crying if you gotta cry, okay? It's alright. Nothing wrong with it.

[Says the biggest hypocrite this side of the multiverse, without even the smallest hint of irony. Telling Izuku to feel his feelings feels like helping him maybe, in some small way, kind of deal with some of this shit, and that's what Hank's focusing on.]

[He sniffs, feeling embarrassed, and drops his head so his forehead brushes against Frank's arm.]

I guess... It just seems... like heroes shouldn't cry.

[He tries to sniff again to clear up his running nose but it's not working, just more tears drip down his face. He gives a teary, soft laugh.]

I can't seem to stop though.

Kid, heroes-

[What the fuck is he doing? Telling the kid heroes aren’t real - not in the way he seems to think of them - is the last fucking thing Hank is going to let himself do today. But he needs to hear something.

Okay, fuck. How to say this.]

Where you come from, these hero types, do they ever take their uniforms off? Or do they just keep on all the time, let em get all sweaty and gross?

[A pause as he considers this in the middle of wiping his nose on his sleeve. Then he blinks and looks up at Hank.]

They go home after their jobs like the rest of us. It's just... more intense. They're often on call and expected to jump into action if the see a Villain even if they're not on duty. But they don't live in their hero outfits, no. A lot of heroes are married and have families and...

[He trails off. A little too tried to go into details.]

Right, so-

[Hank sounds maybe a little strained, sort of desperate, his already shaky confidence that this little metaphor was the way to go taking a hit in the face of the kid's clear lack of understanding.]

Uh. So, look, they got to take the cape off some time. Maybe cryin on duty's a bad idea, but- okay, I don't know heroes, no, but I know cops. We gotta go home at the end of the day too, talk to some people, have a beer, scream into a pillow- [Break down into a crying, choking, freaked out mess in front of god and everybody - but there's details and then there's details, and Izuku never needs to know about that.] -or, hell, cry a little. If you need to. I guess. So. I mean-

[Hank shrugs, curls what he hopes is a reassuring hand around the kid's shoulder, and tries another smile. This one, he thinks, comes out less shitty than the other tries, so. He's getting there.]

You go ahead and do, uh, whatever you need to. Better to uh, get it out now, right? And not later when you've got to, you know, put that cape on again, Mr. Hero.

Yeah, you're right.

[He wipes away tears again but with a little more determination and his shoulders have stopped shaking so much. He knows heroes are human like everyone else. Heck, the hero who looked up to most, who he thought was impossibly strong, had been reduced to a frail old man, unable to fight anymore and forced to retire. But he'd always put on a strong face and Izuku couldn't help but wish he always had a strong face too instead of being a huge crybaby.

Still, what Hank said made sense. If he was going to cry, cry now, when it's safe. Don't let it come to haunt you when you least expect it.]

When Hank smiles, he manages to give a watery one back. Then he looks down, sniffles, and mumbles shyly]

I'm sorry I bothered you. But... I'm glad I talked to you.

Shit, your standards are low.

[Hank's smile goes wry and lopsided and he gives the kid's shoulder one last squeeze before letting go and starting to take half a step back. He won't force it if Izuku still wants to hang on, but he also doesn't really want to push his luck with the whole magic power thing. There's not as much chance of it going bad now, though, not like there was, he feels- well, not better. Not after what happened. Whatever the fuck it was that happened. But he feels more... he feels less...

Something. Fuck it. Hank doesn't have to figure it out, so he doesn't waste time trying. This is about the kid anyway, still.]

Do you feel, uh-

[Not better. He wouldn't be feeling better after that, either.]

I mean, uh. How you feeling?

Maybe. But I'm still glad.

[And it's not exactly untrue. His dad is out of the picture and his mentor was a great hero but a rather poor teacher. So any life advice he can get is a rare gem.

When Hank pulls away, Izuku wraps his arms around himself to make sure he holds steady as he tries to decide how to answer Hank's question. The steady hand, even if it's gone, had helped.]

...Cold. Sniffly. Really sniffly. But... [he searches for the word. Not "good", not "better", before settling on-] lighter. Before it felt... like my chest is being crushed under it all. It's not as bad now.

Sounds nice.

[Hank's crooked try at a smile's only half faded, hanging on an extra second or two cause this kid confirming, one hundred percent seriously, that Hank's go at comforting him maybe wasn't all it should have been is actually a little bit funny. Anyone else might of ignored Hank's little comment, or teased him with it. Not this kid.

So, Hank's still sort of almost-smiling. Then he makes his way around back to his bottle and flops back onto the ground, leaning back on his hands and looking at Izuku, letting the smile fade.]

You can, uh. Stay. If you want. [Hank won't be able to let go with the kid around and a part of him wants to tell Izuku so, guilt him into leaving. But Hank's not that far gone yet. If Izuku needs some sort of anchor Hank can buckle his shit down a little longer.] I might not be the best company, but uh-

[He shrugs a shoulder, trying to figure out how to end that sentence. But what? He's not the best company. Period. Whatever. He lets the sentence sit like that. He doesn't need to finish it anyway, the offer's already clear.]

Yeah.

[Izuku gives him a ghost of the bright smile that he's capable of but still... it's a smile. He watches Hank flop down next to his bottle. He can tell that Hank probably needs his own time to process all of this. Izuku had sort of... intruded on that even if it was unintentional. He decides it's best to give Hank space.]

I'm okay. I'm... I should probably wash my face. [He's pretty snotty and splotchy.] And then I'll go ask my friend to spar. He probably needs it.

Umm...

[Still he stands there for a few seconds, thinking back on their conversation as his face suddenly turns a little red. Finally it just all bursts forth in a fluster.]

Um! What I said before, I know that I said that I had low standards and... that's probably true. Not a lot of people in my life have given me advice until recently... I mean, what I'm trying to say is I really do think what you said was helpful and... it definitely sounded like high quality advice! Like one of my teachers might give.

[He seems to realize that he's sort of rambling and stops himself. He sniffs loudly and stands a little straighter.]

I'm trying to say... thank you, Lieutenant.

[PAUSE. Like he's steeling himself.]

...Hank.

[He inclines his head in a small bow.]

[That little speech made Hank's eyebrows climb, and they haven't come down yet. He watches the kid, amusement tugging at a corner of his mouth. He's not really smiling but he's coming closer than he expected to without even trying, and he's not sure if he even wants to be doing it, but-

The kid's heart is in the right place. Boy, is it. He snorts, looking fond.]

Yeah. No problem. Just-

[This last part he pushes out fast, wanting to say it before the hypocrisy catches up to him and chases the words away.]

Take care of yourself, alright? Cry if you need to. It's fine. If someone gives a shit it's on them for being a shitty human being, not on you.

I will.

I'm... actually sort of a crybaby. So crying comes pretty easy to me, whether I want to or not. [He's looks a bit embarrassed but he's started to embrace that part of himself and his new classmates don't tease him about it like kids did back in middle school.]

Please take care of yourself too. I... [He pauses, trying to think of something comforting to say. But he can't quite come up with it.] We have to look out for each other. Thank you for looking after me. And I'm sorry for the trouble.

[He bows again, wipes his nose on the back of his hand with a loud sniff, and jogs off like someone going to for a nice run. It keeps his head clearer than just walking.]

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[OPEN] Well. That Didn't Go Quite As Planned

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